Photos taken on holiday this autumn. I stumbled upon these while searching my computer for something entirely different. Soon, at least soonish, these photos will fade into a wage (but good) memory, and the doll will be substituted with a baby. Another person. A real person. I need to tell myself this quite often. Although I’m well into the second trimester and the baby moves around in there like crazy sometimes, even though my energy levels are at an all time low, my back hurts already and I have the occasional attack of heartburn. Still – I need to remind myself – I need to try and get the idea of having another person in our life – our family. It’s very strange and hard to get used to. I guess it’s something I/we cannot prepare ourselves to – it happens, and we’ll have to take it from there.
It has been, and still is occasionally, a bit hard. This pregnancy is so different from the first one, but still so similar. I’m pregnant at another time of the year, and that has definitely made the first trimester (with the extreme nausea) even harder – especially emotionally. It was a tough ride for all of us as a family.
It’s better now – so much better without the nausea. I can feel happiness again, I can feel the rollercoaster ride of emotions linked to (I guess) every pregnancy. Butterflies and shooting stars. Euphoria and anxiety. The waiting, the preparing, the getting ready, the reading of articles and books (all the things you forget in just a few years!), the internet surfing on forums and web shops (all the things you’re told you need… well, that’s a good thing about the second time around – you know you don’t need much), the talks with friends and family about their experiences and expectations, the choice making…
But here I am, and soon here she/he is, and we’re all waiting and trying to get used to the idea in our own way. What an adventure, and what a spiritual journey it is. For all of us. Motherhood, fatherhood, becoming a sister. That’s what I’m hoping and aspiring to write more about; the spiritual journey of pregnancy and birth. And what a blessing to be pregnant now – when the sun is soon to be “born” on the winter solstice.