Yes, she's here

She is here – finally. 16 days past my edd, and a birth experience that turned out very different from what I wished for. But that doesn’t matter now. It’s all about getting to know each other, sleeping, carrying, folding and changing diapers, cuddling and nursing.

And hopefully some time to get into blogging again… :)

Did I mention the cuddling?

Quiet

I’m afraid there’s not much going on here at the moment. On the blog that is. Seemingly there is not much going on in “real life” either except for the waiting. Oh, the waiting and longing, the frustration and the expectations. The wondering. I am 11 days past my EDD (estimated delivery date) today. I’m going to the hospital early Monday morning if nothing happens this weekend. And they will probably induce labour. Scary. I was hoping for a VBAC. As natural as possible. Now I’m not so hopeful, and honestly I’m feeling a bit discouraged by the whole situation, all the opposing facts and opinions and research done on VBACs, inducing or not inducing and the whole shebang…

BUT we will meet soon, very soon. And all this wondering and frustration will be gone and forgotten when I can stare into her eyes for the first time and fall in love all over again. How lucky am I?

Wishing you a wonderful weekend. I’m going to the flea market tomorrow for some treasure hunting. Yey!



Taken at the hospital when I got my first in 2004. By c section (she was breech) at 39w 3d – 4kg (8.8 lbs)… <3

A gift

A gift for my big girl when the baby arrives - Ostheimer figurines representing our “new” family. And yes – I finally went for the toddler to represent her baby sister instead of the baby in a crib. So I’m hoping T. will accept the fact that the figurine representing her has a green, and not a pink dress… If not, I guess I’ll just have to order the baby as well. And I’m thinking of a couple of dogs, some rabbits and maybe some hens… You know – to represent the rest of the family… And maybe some fairytale figures…. Maybe some lions (T. loves lions – whenever she gets scared or insecure, she pretends to be a lion. They represent ultimate power and strength to her), and a family of moose/elk maybe…. And and…. :)

I need sleep

I struggle with sleep these days. I guess it’s because of the pregnancy, feeling/being like a stranded whale and everything. So I go to bed, lie there staring at the ceiling for an hour and a half or so (or actually I stare at the walls – lying on my back is not an option now), listening to hubby and T. snoring, the dogs having a sip of water, raindrops and icicles falling from the roof outside now and then.

So I get up and settle down in my cosy chair in the living room. Still no energy to really do anything other then sitting still and being quiet. My brain and body craves rest. So I keep knitting on the diaper cover, I play Civilization on Xbox (you know; Waldorf inspired and natural family living mama as I am ;). I check my mail, facebook, and different forums. And I sit there in the darkness of my living room; me and the baby. She kicks me in the ribs, and I can feel little feet and hands trying to stretch and make more room in there. But there is no more room now. We’re both at our limits.

After a few hours I give the bed another try, and sometimes it works. If I can just manage to fall asleep it’s ok. Then I can sleep for many hours – too many. So I wake up as if I’ve slept for a hundred years like Cinderella. No prince kissing me though. The prince has gone with T. to the kindergarten – probably a few hours ago already. So the zombie like Cinderella gets up and feels just like she did when she went to sleep. And so it goes on.


But today I’m still hoping to;

Find the photos I took of T. playsilks. They turned out so vibrant and beautiful, and I was going to publish them here and write something more about toys and stuff. Maybe I need to take new ones.

Fold and put away a huge amount of baby clothes hanging to dry. My mother has bought a lot at flea markets and Goodwill, and I don’t really have any idea of what it all is yet.

Get some decluttering done and stop ignoring the stuff and build up of dishes in the kitchen.

Finish the meal plan for the next two weeks. (Write an update on the food waste reduction challenge maybe? Another thing being ignored these days. I’m really good at ignoring and postponing things – I should get a freakin’ medal.)

Diaper stash

My recently arrived diapering stash. We used the plastic disposable stuff when T was a baby, but hopefully we’ll get a hang on some of these cloth diapers this time around. I don’t know what’s happened in-between, but cloth diapers didn’t even occur to me the last time I was pregnant. Or after she was born for that matter. I guess I was into bein’ green and everything back then also, but (thankfully) a lot has happened since then – I’ve changed, learned more about being green, thinking more about our choices and how it affects us and the planet. So – we’re definitely moving forward.

I have kind of mixed feelings about the diapering right now. First of all – the more I think of and read about the disposables; the enormous amount of mostly plastic landfill – literally a ton of diapers pr. child – that takes about 500 years to decompose... The thought of wrapping your kids reproductive organs in non breathable plastic for 2-3-4-5 years, all the chemicals involved to make the diapers feel “dry” even after hours and hours… Well, the list goes on. Right now I cannot believe that this didn’t hit me with T. Or with myself a little earlier (I’ve used cloth pads for a few years now, and I love it).

But I have no idea if it is going to work for us. Is it going to be a lot more work? Are they going to leak all over the place? Can we adjust to the thought of doing laundry on a more regular basis instead of collecting huge amounts and then having to wear different coloured socks because nothing else is clean? (Get the idea?) Yes, we’re that kind of people. But I guess it has to change now or else this cloth diaper idea will be a very short lived and smelly business. I’ve bought three bamboo (so much better than cotton in so many ways) fitted diapers, one all-in-one organic cotton, twenty organic cotton flat fold diapers and some other “stash” to try out. And I just love the wetbags from Planet Wise. Pretty pretty. I’ll have to knit and buy some wool soakers as well.

And to take this even a little bit further (some say a little bit too far), I’m thinking of trying “family cloth”. Yes, that’s apparently what it’s called and I don’t know why. Let me explain. Basically it is wiping your behind with cloth instead of paper after doing your business. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but now seem like a good time to try it out, since we have to wash diapers anyway. The main thing about using cloth instead of toilet paper is of course to use less paper – less disposables. And it is better for our skin. Another good thing for us is significantly reducing the amount of paper in our compost toilet. Most of the stuff in there is actually paper, and it takes quite a while to decompose. And it makes the process slower… Well, nuf’ details about that. We’re doing cloth for pee and paper for poo. And paper for guests of course.

Ideally I’d make the wipes myself (cutting old t-shirts or cotton flannel into squares and hemming…). Ideally I’d even make the diapers myself, but I’m not quite there at the moment. Maybe one day…

Or maybe I’ll make those wipes anyway. I mean, seriously…

Status quo

It’s winter. Right now it’s the kind of winter that has us locked inside, or at least stuck up here. Where we live this happens some times. Not very often though. But right now, with me looking (at least feeling) like a stranded whale, a car that desperately needs an update in so many ways… Well, it was safer to stay at home. To drive anywhere I’ll have to put chains on the car (ehm the tyres that is), and then maybe we’ll get down and up again. Sigh…

So we’re here, me and the little one, trying to survive without driving each other crazy. Mostly being inside the house because of the slippery, icy, wet, windy and grey happening outside. Today was cupcake baking day. Blueberry cupcakes with so much blueberries they were really blueberries with a little cupcake added to them. Yum.

And since the husband has our camera at work, I can’t take photos of them. But I have this one… Kind of related.





Two of my cake tins, both thrifted. Old cake tins are something I always look for on flea markets and thrift shops. I just love them, and of course they can store almost anything (like needles and thread and bias tape, or stamps, postcards, the little ones beads…) – not just blueberries with a little cupcake added :).

Toys and "stuff" - part I

When you have children, you get a whole new perspective on “stuff” and how it comes into your home. Maybe you were already into simple living, decluttering, organizing and living green before you had children, or maybe having children awakened this “interest” or need to do so. One thing is for sure – the amount and flow of stuff changes when you have children, whether you want it to or not.

The toys. Oh, the toys. And the baby stuff. The baby “toys”, the automatic rocking chairs with the animal sounds and annoying, repetitive music, the flashing and beeping and moving toys with batteries, the walking chairs, the baby carriages with all kinds of “entertainment” installed, the potty that plays a tune when you go pee pee, the small computers made for pre-toddlers, every kind of pedagogically correct toy and gadget that you just got to have if your baby is to develop properly and fast enough. Or the kind of stuff you just got to have because “everyone” else got it or tells you that you simply cannot live without. Your family will give you all kinds of “good” advice, your friends will tell you, and the producers and manufacturers will undoubtedly tell you. It's good for the baby they say. You need this to be a good parent. Or you need this to be hot and trendy. And lets not forget – it makes your life so much easier. What a treat.

Kids and especially babies don’t need all this stuff. It’s all bogus. As first time mothers most of us bought and got loads of things and toys that we didn’t need. And the baby certainly didn’t need it! But we end up with lots of it no matter what. And many of us have rooms and even houses full of it years after the baby is born. There it lies forgotten or just put away so we don’t have to look at it and deal with it. Gathering dust in the basement or in the garage, or piling up with the vast (and always growing) amount of toys in the kids’ playroom.

No wonder some people say it’s expensive, loud and exhausting to have kids.

It really isn’t. Children don’t need to learn how to play. They don’t even need toys to do so. Toys (and especially baby gadgets) are usually something made up by adults to keep children busy when we’re off to do other things. These days it’s mostly made of plastic, many of them contain harmful chemicals, most of them are made in China by underpaid workers in dangerous environments, many of them are made to do one thing and don’t really stimulate fantasy, creativity or playfulness at all, but might keep your child busy for a couple of hours before they lose interest. And – most of them ends up as toxic, non-recyclable items in the landfill, or if they’re lucky – at Goodwill.

I’m painting a black picture here. Many (more and more) parents are fully aware of this, and buy safe products for their children; focusing on quality, safety and the environment - not quantity. Many parents quickly realise that having lots of fancy stuff has nothing to do with being a good parent, or having a happy childhood or developing properly. I’m not saying we should stop buying toys altogether. I’m not saying you should not buy anything for your new baby. I’m saying you don’t need to buy all this stuff.

Our four year old has quite an “impressive” amount of toys. And yes, she has some of the above mentioned plastic from China. But this is an ongoing (never ending?) process of refuse, reduce, reuse, recycle for us. The refuse part is definitely one of the hardest ones. The reduce part is not always easy, but she’s in on it from time to time. Even she can see the need to reduce the amount because it doesn’t get played with and ends up as clutter and even more stuff to clean up. And the things she loves and plays with the most - is the simple, creative, open ended toys and everyday items and art supplies. Who would know? ;)


So – what do babies need then? And how to recognize what is a good and high quality toy? More on that later.

Thoughtful friday #1

Pregnancy is a process that invites you to surrender to the unseen force behind all life.
-Judy Ford

The journey

Photos taken on holiday this autumn. I stumbled upon these while searching my computer for something entirely different. Soon, at least soonish, these photos will fade into a wage (but good) memory, and the doll will be substituted with a baby. Another person. A real person. I need to tell myself this quite often. Although I’m well into the second trimester and the baby moves around in there like crazy sometimes, even though my energy levels are at an all time low, my back hurts already and I have the occasional attack of heartburn. Still – I need to remind myself – I need to try and get the idea of having another person in our life – our family. It’s very strange and hard to get used to. I guess it’s something I/we cannot prepare ourselves to – it happens, and we’ll have to take it from there.

It has been, and still is occasionally, a bit hard. This pregnancy is so different from the first one, but still so similar. I’m pregnant at another time of the year, and that has definitely made the first trimester (with the extreme nausea) even harder – especially emotionally. It was a tough ride for all of us as a family.

It’s better now – so much better without the nausea. I can feel happiness again, I can feel the rollercoaster ride of emotions linked to (I guess) every pregnancy. Butterflies and shooting stars. Euphoria and anxiety. The waiting, the preparing, the getting ready, the reading of articles and books (all the things you forget in just a few years!), the internet surfing on forums and web shops (all the things you’re told you need… well, that’s a good thing about the second time around – you know you don’t need much), the talks with friends and family about their experiences and expectations, the choice making…



But here I am, and soon here she/he is, and we’re all waiting and trying to get used to the idea in our own way. What an adventure, and what a spiritual journey it is. For all of us. Motherhood, fatherhood, becoming a sister. That’s what I’m hoping and aspiring to write more about; the spiritual journey of pregnancy and birth. And what a blessing to be pregnant now – when the sun is soon to be “born” on the winter solstice.